judgemental

No matter how smart/clever we are, we still have got no right to judge others.

Each and every one of us is different. In our own way. We're different because of different background, n different upbringing...everything is different! Do not think that the world must revolve around us just because we get a good education and come from a decent background. Even if we think someone does not conform to our idea of being a 'good' person, we still have got no right to judge him/her.

Don't let all of our (few) good deeds all this while go to waste just because we cannot control the little evil in our head. Yes we may have the advantage of looking 'good' in the eyes of many. And some might have few shortcomings that are like 'taboo' in our little world. But NO ONE is superior than the other. Making a change is part of our responsibility but in the process, do not judge. When we judge others, it means we're looking down on them, showing arrogance and superiority. And it can translate in our attitude and conversation. Seriously, it's not a nice sight. Coz it hurts.

Just a thought..because we might not realize it.

Allah knows best.

aidilfitri di perantauan

hopefully it's still not too late for me to wish everyone Eid Mubarak!

it's my 2nd time celebrating raya in the UK, Alhamdulillah dpt solat aidilfitri di pagi raya, dan mencuti-kan diri drpd hospital for the rest of the day.

Alhamdulillah we managed to hold a grandiose open house this yr on the very first day of raya namely the Open house version 43.36. A great joined effort between the gorgeous of 43 city rd and the jingles of 36 beeston rd. Thanks to everyone for everything. Marvellous foods, happening atmosphere, fantastic crowd..semua cukup!hehe!재미 있어요!

the so called 'satay tour'

soto

wut's with the fuss back home?kitorg happy je.

mase peak time, lantai pun x nampak!

dgn posgrads n the kids

the boys in the backyard

the host

the doctors

more food. satay n rendang

desserts

to break, or to hide

i like what i'm doing now. i like what i study now. not merely because it's a scientific medicine. but also coz it involves me working with people from all walks of life with all sorts of different stories and emotions. last week was my labour week. the short-lasting adrenaline rush during C-section was craaazy! the climax is when having to pull and press the tummy, but as soon as the baby pops out and cries, it's such a beautiful anti-climax. same goes to normal birth or instrumental assisted delivery. with the lady screaming in pain, and the worried husband sweating like a pig, wut do u do as a med student?haha initially i just literally froze there for a couple of seconds. it's not like i have experienced labour to give any tips. but yea u don't have to experience it first to empathize, so in a malu-malu kucing tone, i just copied the midwife, "u've done very well!" "just a little bit more, push!push!" (^_^) but when i really thought they've done really well, the midwife said it's the diarmorphine. heheh.

And now i'm on my gynae-oncology week. just imagine the intensity of the emotion inside the clinic every time a patient walks in. if it goes, "it's a cyst measuring 11x12x10cm, we can book u in for surgery to remove the ovary," then it's good news. at least. and if it goes, "it's a cancer of the womb. stage 1a, which confined to the inside of the womb. since u've had your menopause, the best option is to do hysterectomy with the removal of both of the tubes and ovaries (bilateral salpingo-oopherectomy or BSO)," it's worrying, but still quite fortunate. But what if, "we can no longer do surgery. as u know, it'll quickly come back. so the plan now is to give u radiotherapy for about 2 weeks. it's supposed to reduce the cancer cells a bit and shall give some EXTRA TIME. no cure to it. and we'll give u the cream for the infections." feel like the the whole sky just collapsed on u? yes that's exactly how i think this one lovely couple who's in their 80s felt when the oncologist explained the treatment plan. they've been married for 65 years. the wife is 88 years old. has an advanced basal cell carcinoma of the vulva that has spread to both of her groins. she has had a vulvectomy in the past. but the invincible cancerous cells came back and become even more aggressive. the treatment now is just palliative. looking at the lesions in her groins, u would expect her to be in great pain. coz the affected area got infected as well. but she looked totally fine!! and very independent!! she's more troubled by her back pain rather than the sticky lesions in her groins. she put up with it by placing some tissues at the affected area and wear pads. as said by the nurse there, "These elderlies, they just put up with things, they don't wanna be a burden to others," Ya Allah, my heart sank. And the husband, he looked even better!with an obvious effort to hold his tears, he asked the oncologist what did he mean by 'extra time'. and the wife quickly stopped him saying she didn't want to know about it. she just wanted to go with the treatment and take it as it comes along. the world felt so small, i felt so close to them...

sekadar gambar hiasan: colposcopy clinic

p.s; some says childbirth is gory and hence dnt dare to look at it. no i think we have to see it, so we know dari mana kita datang and remind diri kita about who we really are - manusia hina yg dijadikan drpd tanah liat kering dan lumpur hitam (15:26). and remember, there lies the greatness of Allah to those who think. =)

Ramadhan

Ramadhan Kareem!

Selamat berpuasa kepada semua Muslimin dan Muslimat.

First day of puasa, and im in Lincoln. Very much like back in 2007. grrr. but owh well, it doesnt matter. so let's start off our Ramadhan with a wake up call:

AWAKEN - by Maher Zain

dignity

When doing clinical examination on patient, doctors/med students are asked to cover the patient's private part as much as we could, or at least performing the exam. behind the curtain to maintain patient's DIGNITY..

But for those who simply dress skimpily wearing revealing clothes etc in public w/out even being asked to..where goes the DIGNITY then?

hurmm..how irony..

mari POP-ing

POP stands for: PEACE OF PALESTINE

POP terbahagi kepada tiga bahagian utama iaitu:

1) Turki : Antara Fateh dan Kamal - Perkongsian dan pendedahan mengenai kesan kejatuhan Khalifah Turki Uthmaniyyah terhadap penubuhan Negara Haram Israel.

2) Talk Peace of Palestine - Input berkaitan Palestine dan memahami tanggungjawab terhadap Palestine atas dasar Islam atau atas dasar kemanusiaan dan mula memainkan peranan masing-masing dengan bersungguh-sungguh setiap masa,tidak kira sama ada, terdapat isu besar yang muncul atau tidak.

3) DSLR : Bukan sekadar foto - Pendedahan mengenai penggunaan Camera DSLR supaya dapat menghasilkan gambar yang bermutu tinggi dan bukan sekadar foto biasa

Daftar segera!!!(^_^)

Dan jumpa di saaaanaaaaaaaaa...=)

in a relationship

..no that's not an announcement.

ok there is this situation;

There's two birdies who are so in love. They've been together for quite some time. And of course, the two want to take their relationship into the next level. But some people around them aren't too comfortable about that. Not their usual circle of friends, but some more important people. First, because they're not yet convinced if the guy is 'ready' enough to hold the responsibility in term of of course, mental preparation, money wise and few other stuffs. And secondly, coz the girl is yet to prove that she is the 'right' one in term of manners, upbringing etc..And yes despite that 'perkara baik tak perlu dihalang dan dilengahkan', (But you see, that's another story because marriage isn't jst about making wut's haram to us halal..jst read here) I can see the rationale behind the two reasons why some people around them aren't too keen in pursuing their good intention i.e. tying up the knot. Hence, they kind of ask me if i knw anyone more decent for the guy..(ewah2 banyak la, utk diri sendiri pn x lepas lg!-->jst my monolouge!haha) so i said, "owh mmg ramai ppl around me here yg mmg calon mithali tiptop!"

Tidakkah lelaki yg baik itu utk perempuan yg baik?..however it is understandable tht everybody's lacking, and so needs hand to lead for the better or at least walk together towards it.

But as a girl right, if we really is a good one, wud we be so daring as to do something as if we disregard the important ppl around the guy we're in the relationship with?is it really good enough if u can "control" the guy like he's all yours? And even if he is the boyfriend cum husband-soon-to-be-jst-dnt-knw-when, it jst doesn't make sense to me to act like his wife already..like the attitude, 'buka aurat dgn boyfren seniri je pun'..usually happens when a person is originally covered, but when skyping with the boyfren, then it's "ok" to not wearing hijab since "he's my boyfren n we'll get married soon anyway". or like, "i tak pegang lelaki lain, pegang boyfren sendiri je"....hurm, think again.

If that is so, wut is the purpose of wearing hijab in the everyday lives then?Where is the sincerity?One often says that "I sincerely love him (the boyfren)"..erm for the sake of whom? Then pray to Allah at night asking for His blessings in the relationship or semoga jodoh dgn si dia dipermudahkan. After throwing all those lines as stated above, wut do we expect, right? Note that the delicate sincerity is achieved if and only if the deeds are done for the sake of Allah and in accordance with His command and the sunnah. Fine, Allah is All Merciful and the All plentiful Giver, He may grant us our prayers but be cocky not, that's another test, coz He either grants us our prayer because we really deserve it or to see if we'd 'hanyut' dgn keindahan dan kenikmatan dunia. (Semoga dijauhkan)

We often think that Allah only tests us with hardships. And us who live happily with the ppl we love around us, getting good results every time, haha hihi huhu here and there all the time are examted from the test..please, that's not true. Allah also tests us with ease like good health, money and the things or persons we love. And unsurprisingly, we often fails in these tests because when Allah gives us these blessings we often turn them into false idol of the heart. So now do we worship the source of the blessings or the blessing itself? That blessings cn be taken away frm us ANYTIME either because we fail the test, or as another test. so what makes us so confident doing n saying stuffs as mentioned in the earlier paragraph? Think again. everybody makes mistake but let's reflect and repent. So let's be wise in handling our tests. wallahu 'alam.

[And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are signs for those who reflect.] (Ar-Rum 30:21)

Also check Al-Kahfi verse 46.

p.s; I use the word "we" and not "u" which means, I definitely dedicate this piece of reminder to my self as well as to whoever reading.

innocence

heh..still can't get over this skema + jujur conversation;

"ayah, ammar ade buat kesalahan" ----> a sentence tht made my mom anxious the whole night n cudn't sleep tight.

"kesalahan apenya?"

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

1 day later..

"ammar hilang duit 4o ringgit,"

sensasi atau disensasikan?

[religious issue (???) ----> linguistic issue ----> races (or racist??) issue ] @ political agenda (??)

Let's ask our selves,

We're a Muslim first or a Malay first?

Beliefs come first or verbal utterance comes first?

..jawab dalam hati sudeyy. Yang penting, be a rational Muslim/Malay..not just another emotional Malay/Muslim.

"Ikutkan hati mati, ikutkan nafsu lesu, ikutkan Al-Quran menuju kejayaan"..random pulak eh!

..dan ikutkan malas, dissertation tak siap!hehehe(^_^)

andalucia parte III - Sevilla

**it's snowing outside..hati senangggg..haha

k our next destination was Sevilla. It was jst a 2++ hrs drive frm Malaga. Our stay in Sevilla was indeed one of the best!owh but here ws when the drama began. NOTE: dnt travel like us, main redah je..with no map at hand..depend solely on our gps..so sang gps ni pn bawakla ke our hostel..n to our surprise..the street was very narrow!n in fact too narrow for a car!no wonder bila kitorg masuk diz one paved street, no one gave us a weird look since it ws very normal there.

then kitorg jumpe diz one free space in front of a building..so we jst happily parked our car there la since it was super duper difficult to find a decent parking space near our hostel. dahla tuh,it was raining very heavily too!pastu we checked-in at Seville Inn Backpackers..met a group of msian students frm Cardiff there. Then at night, we watched a short performance of the famousFlamenco dance. after the show, instead of went straight to hostel, we wanted to get some food frm our car..terkejutnyer bila tgk the side mirror on the driver's side was severely broken n the there's a long scratch on the side too. adding to the shock, ade ticket saman worth 120euro skali!

Flamenco dance

our hostel area

Gitu-gini after calling the 24hr service, the tow truck came at around 12-ish midnight to get our car..communicate mcm ayam ngn itik dgn pakcik tu, when we showed him the ticket we was jst like ahhh wutever *sambil membuang ticket tu ke tanah*..apakah?but we're happy!haha!

k enough of tht, and now a lil bit of sevilla history. The legends tell tht Seville was founded by Hercules. tp x taula kan..After the conquest by the Moors, its Roman name, Hispalis was changed to Arabic name, Isbilya. Now Sevilla is one of the 4 largest cities kat spain if im not msitaken..correct me if im wrong. And was the second most important after Cordova during Moorish empire. Lepas kejatuhan Caliphate system, Andalusia was divided into almost 30 smaller kingdoms called Taifas or so called 'Party Kings' (muluk al tawa'if). The only strong state was tht of Sevilla founded by former governor Mohammed ibn-Abbad. During his legacy, Sevilla gained supremacy over other kingdoms including Cordoba.

All of these Party Kings were unable to work together due to complex political games n wars, so it really was a party for the Christians. So they had to pay heavy tribute to Christians kings present during tht time (Alfonso IV). By this time, an appeal was made to Almoravids (Al-Murabitun-the warrior monk) by some Taifas rulers(including Sevilla and Granada). Almoravids dynasty was of a Berber origin n very successful in establishing a kingdom in Maghreb (Morocco now). Almoravids ni was not very popular among the ppl coz they're said to be religious intolerence.

Then Almohads (Al-Muwahhidun-upholders of divine unity) from Cadiz pula conquered Al-Andalus and made Seville the capital of its kingdom. Almohads who were said to be somewhat more tolerant also restored the prosperity and relative peace of the region. Masa ni la terbinanya central mosque yg kini dah jd the largest gothic cathedral. Although the mosque was no more, an idea of its grandeur however can be seen frm the surviving spacious orange trees courtyard and its minaret with decorative brickwork. Minaret ni menariknya, has got no stairs..but shallow ramps! bkn sbb muezzin dlu malas naek tangge, tp bayangkn nk azan 5 kali sehari..naik menunggang kuda lg cpt kan..so sbb tu lg practical buat ramps je, xke bijak tu? n orange trees courtyard mmg very typical kat mosques in andalus, pastu ade small aqueducts utk salur air for the trees..pastu in the middle ade fountain 4 ablution..so mase ambil wudhu' tu mmg wangi jer..

the gothic cathedral n on the right is La Giralda tower or the minaret

tomb of Christopher Columbus inside the cathedral..he was unfortunately in exile after his death so his bones were everywhere..n the only thing in the tomb is his finger.

view of Seville city from La Giralda

Orange trees courtyard

La torre del oro (The Golden Tower) - built by The Moors at the banks of Guadalquivir river as a watchtower. Takes its name frm the gold tiles tht covered its exterior wall.

Sevilla was important dlu as a pit stop for any kapal yg nak gi Cordoba..they had to stop in Sevilla first (by the watchtower if im not mistaken) lebih kurang mcm "toll" laa..

Then after awhile, Almohad power started to decline and was captured by Alfonso's son, Fernando III. After their conquest that they demolished the mosque and built the cathedral, n also added a huge statue of Faith as a weathervane on top of the minaret. The name of the weathervane is La Giraldillo (now given the name of the tower as a whole)-it's still turning with the winds though as said by our tour guide.

.....to be continued

2009 recap

dpt idea wut recap frm nad, cam best jek..haha

here's the wrap-up of my 2009;

January

-A cold winter, struggled with examss

-GAZA kena serang

February

- experienced the first snow in Notts!

March

-Went to Czech Republic during easter break, had fun bertandang di umh che nad n ila

-Started Cambodia Relief Mission preparation like cake sales for fund raising

-Quite an eventful month kat notts jgak with all sorts of activities and events like Thai night, Msian night, charity dinners etc

April

-gi trip to cornwall yg best!

-my bday!tq asma anis aisyah irina maryam 4 the surprise^^

May

- the same old struggle utk exams

June & July

-Summer holidayy with frens n family!!wonderfuuul!

-Transit n melancong-lancong skejap kat Dubai..great experience..thnx to kak linda (su's cousin in law..kot) for the superb hospitality

- Went for the legendary Cambodia Relief Mission 09...really recommend this to all juniors..amazing experience

-First time sunatkan budak!thrilled!

-Cuti2 msia dgn my besties terchenta

-Visited our highskool..met cikgu2 lama..kenangan terindah lah!

August

-hampir heart attack sbb dpt brita tergempar all at once : sorang cousin accident, another cousin masuk hosp sbb coronary artery blockage, my little bro fractured his ankle, nenek sedara pula nazak di hosp

September

-Nothing much, dgn berat hatinya pulang ke Nottingham

- kehilangan ....

October & September

-Start BMedSci labwork..

December

-Another cold winter

- Early snow this time around kat notts but i missed it coz was in Andalusia for my winter holiday

btw today 1st of january is my parents' birthday..생일 축하합니다! and...모두를 당신을 감사하십시오!