hurmm...without even realising it,2morrow will be a new beginning for everybody..it;s 2008 man!!well for me..im feel quite content for year 2007..alhamdulillah i got most of the things i desired..n 07 also is the highlight of my youth la coz i turned 20 diz year!!the treshold of grown-ups..hehe..:) feels weird but gotta accept the nature rule..
and here r some highlights of the year:
1. i graduated IB with flying colours result!!43!im soooooooooo glad n grateful,didn't expect it at all..Thanks Allah
2. i flew off to UK and enrolled in medical school!!one of the dreams comes true :) still a long way to go..but there's always a beginning for each journey rite..n im soo happy on how i begin my journey in becoming a doctor..hopefully this is the best path for me..yosh~
im contented enough with those 2 big life events happened 2 me..
im thankful with what i have..but as a normal human being, of course i long for more..more happiness..more love..more smiles..more knowledge..and i'll never ever give up in finding the true roots of contentment in life..
speaking of love..ermm no comment..hopefully 2008 will shine me a glowing heart ^^
say no to hatred..say 'on' to heart:)
frankly speaking..i dont really feel the heat of new year..dont know y but mayb because im kinda bz with my revision for exams?wuteva it is,i know i shud have new resolution..
i just went through my blog during new year 06!!time flies soo darn fast..i was once soo excited to enter a new year..reallly looking forward to be in a new year..but since when i become like this??so not 'in'..
but wuteva it is..i still have lots in mind..
i'm thingking of..
wut will happen next?..
how my life is going to be?..better or worse?...
will i score the forthcoming medical exam?..
can i survive medical course?...
can i mingle well with my course/groupmates?...
will people like me or ahte me??..
will my dream come true?...
what kind of trouble i will face next?.....hah?
who will be my new frens?...
will i be loved by someone i fancy?...
will i be a better person as i wish?...
soo many question marks..yes life is unpredictable n full of question marks..strive hard fiqa!!
(^^)Ooouhh 2008....
Monday 31 December 2007
Thursday 27 December 2007
ctrl+shift+enter
control ur whims,
shift ur paradigms,
enter a new beginning..
that's the tagline for this year's winter retreat in loughborough took place on 17-19 december 07..
was soooo excited and happy gotta meet my kmb frens again there!!thanx 2 the prog,becomes closer with them i think..well the prog was good,full of improtant and useful substance..just that some of the talks r kinda boring..depends on the people giving the talk perhaps..but overall impression,the prog was fab coz it managed to help open up my 'eyes' bout live and life as a real Muslim..
well..m trying my best..May Allah gives His blessings..
shift ur paradigms,
enter a new beginning..
that's the tagline for this year's winter retreat in loughborough took place on 17-19 december 07..
was soooo excited and happy gotta meet my kmb frens again there!!thanx 2 the prog,becomes closer with them i think..well the prog was good,full of improtant and useful substance..just that some of the talks r kinda boring..depends on the people giving the talk perhaps..but overall impression,the prog was fab coz it managed to help open up my 'eyes' bout live and life as a real Muslim..
well..m trying my best..May Allah gives His blessings..
Thursday 13 December 2007
review surgeryy...~~
well,i like how the title sounds..ahaks!inspired by today's class actually. We had PH n MBM review surgery class today..PH was so helpful i would say coz i haven't started my review at all so having the class just now of course kinda giving me a brief picture on wut i have to revise which basically everything?For MBM,nothing much really but still it was a good reminder.
But earlier in the morning, we had our first hospital visit. Sooo darn grateful i got mine in QMC!spesifically in respiratory unit.Our tutor which is Dr Simon just gave a briefing of hosp etiquette and what is it like in hospital.Then we also got to interview patient in ward D57. i partnered with anis we interviewd, no chatted with a 63 yr old man Richard. He was so nice and friendly,was so fun chatting with him. Brief of his history:
-living alone with wife, have 1 daughter who works as embroidery designer
-retired (b4 diz worked as technology technician)
-got chest pain n breathlessness started around 40 months ago
-thought it was a normal chest pain due to healthy lifestyle,normal cholesterol level,b.p etc
-admitted to hosp but then released
-still active playing table tennis in tournament n all
-then got breathlessnes again + indigestion + cushing pain on chest till both arm
-angina!
-now been admitted 4 nearly 2 weeks waiting to be transfered 2 city hosp
-doesn't like hosp food(who does???)
alot more actually but that's the important part i suppose^^
few learning outcomes:
-symptoms for an illness might varies in different person
-talk more!get interview structured..dnt just jump frm one thing 2 another..
But earlier in the morning, we had our first hospital visit. Sooo darn grateful i got mine in QMC!spesifically in respiratory unit.Our tutor which is Dr Simon just gave a briefing of hosp etiquette and what is it like in hospital.Then we also got to interview patient in ward D57. i partnered with anis we interviewd, no chatted with a 63 yr old man Richard. He was so nice and friendly,was so fun chatting with him. Brief of his history:
-living alone with wife, have 1 daughter who works as embroidery designer
-retired (b4 diz worked as technology technician)
-got chest pain n breathlessness started around 40 months ago
-thought it was a normal chest pain due to healthy lifestyle,normal cholesterol level,b.p etc
-admitted to hosp but then released
-still active playing table tennis in tournament n all
-then got breathlessnes again + indigestion + cushing pain on chest till both arm
-angina!
-now been admitted 4 nearly 2 weeks waiting to be transfered 2 city hosp
-doesn't like hosp food(who does???)
alot more actually but that's the important part i suppose^^
few learning outcomes:
-symptoms for an illness might varies in different person
-talk more!get interview structured..dnt just jump frm one thing 2 another..
Sunday 9 December 2007
almost done with sem 1!!
besides from being in bed, i spend most of my times on front of my comp but still too lazy too update this blog..my bad!
i just realized how fast time flies..im almost done with first sem yo!next week is winter break and right after is my exam..finger cross!can't wait for holiday, Duo-ying's gonna come over and i'll go to PMS in Loughborough then there's an Eid celebration before me heading to Turkey!!then Nadz's gonna come over and then want it or not, i really have to lock my self up to preapre for the forthcoming exams.So that's my holiday plans. But we human plans, only God grants.
well for this weekend, i didn't plan to go out since i think i better prepare a little bit before enjoying my holliday somewhere else.But just now, my foster bro n sis invited me for a luncd outside. They're my savior for today!!coz kinda boring being in the room the whole day yesterday so was hoping someone would ask me out or something.We went to a Pakistani restaurant somewhere in Sneinton(that was the name of the area if im not mistaken). The Roti Nan was fab!!and the mango lessi(juice) was sooo darn sedap k!!ergh,kenyang abes! tahnx loads to them!And now, im trying to avoid having dinner coz i can still feel the stuffiness of my stomach.well, half of it because im kinda lazy to cook today.hehe^^
i just realized how fast time flies..im almost done with first sem yo!next week is winter break and right after is my exam..finger cross!can't wait for holiday, Duo-ying's gonna come over and i'll go to PMS in Loughborough then there's an Eid celebration before me heading to Turkey!!then Nadz's gonna come over and then want it or not, i really have to lock my self up to preapre for the forthcoming exams.So that's my holiday plans. But we human plans, only God grants.
well for this weekend, i didn't plan to go out since i think i better prepare a little bit before enjoying my holliday somewhere else.But just now, my foster bro n sis invited me for a luncd outside. They're my savior for today!!coz kinda boring being in the room the whole day yesterday so was hoping someone would ask me out or something.We went to a Pakistani restaurant somewhere in Sneinton(that was the name of the area if im not mistaken). The Roti Nan was fab!!and the mango lessi(juice) was sooo darn sedap k!!ergh,kenyang abes! tahnx loads to them!And now, im trying to avoid having dinner coz i can still feel the stuffiness of my stomach.well, half of it because im kinda lazy to cook today.hehe^^
Thursday 1 November 2007
life as med student so far....^ ^
it's been more than a month since im a medical student which i've been really wanted not so long time ago.well so far i wud say,it's pretty plain.no spice.^^ most of my classes r lecture n so to say,STUDY. well of course!wut i really mean is, it's quite boring n tiring u see to be stucked in a lecture theater for 2 hrs..n being human, i can only fully concentrate on the first 40 mins of the lecture..so where goes the remaining 20mins?A.Blankly staring on the slides or the lecturer itself B.Daydreaming(which most of the time)C.Blurrrrrrrr D.Shift my mind to think bout something else (it's different frm daydreaming ok cz a bit of thinking is being put there)^^
the quite exciting part so far is jst the role playing class (in which i quite screwed up mine-->y did SHE sooo irritating!!!) n the GP visit..looking forward to my turn to interviewing patient next week..hopes everything'll go smoothly n i won't sound like a know-nothing medical student.
my study is quite OFF the rythm now..i dnt know y which actually i do knw y..cz im sooo too lazy now..since when i've become like this???huh!i jst feel like there's no pushing factor.(hope u knw wut i mean)im not the type who needs reason to study like yea i must study to please my parent n so on..but it's jst u knw,cnt get the beat jst soo yet n im afraid it'l get tooo late til i catch up the pace.
hurm...i tink i need to figure out something that can push me down to my study desk..
having GOAL in mind is NOT enough..i hav to WRITE it down!!!!!WTH didn't i realize that before..hurm..hope it'll work
tata^^
the quite exciting part so far is jst the role playing class (in which i quite screwed up mine-->y did SHE sooo irritating!!!) n the GP visit..looking forward to my turn to interviewing patient next week..hopes everything'll go smoothly n i won't sound like a know-nothing medical student.
my study is quite OFF the rythm now..i dnt know y which actually i do knw y..cz im sooo too lazy now..since when i've become like this???huh!i jst feel like there's no pushing factor.(hope u knw wut i mean)im not the type who needs reason to study like yea i must study to please my parent n so on..but it's jst u knw,cnt get the beat jst soo yet n im afraid it'l get tooo late til i catch up the pace.
hurm...i tink i need to figure out something that can push me down to my study desk..
having GOAL in mind is NOT enough..i hav to WRITE it down!!!!!WTH didn't i realize that before..hurm..hope it'll work
tata^^
Tuesday 16 October 2007
eid celebration in foreign land
ouh..it's been quite some time since my last entry..not dat i been busy,jst a lil bit lazy..:p
well,diz is my first time celebrating raya thousands miles away frm family..hurm..all of us here were wuite surprised when they announced dat raya falls on friday (12/10)..cz we xpected it to be on d next day..i was sooo not mentally n emotionally ready!! n worse, i got 1 hr basic emergency care practical class on that day..poor me..wtv..n i missed the sembahyang raya cz cha told me it wud be at 820am..n my clas ws at 9 so i thought i cudnt make it..but actually it started at 8!!arghh!frust!but it's ok..sabar..huhu
that night i went to my foster parent's house..not really a parent..brother n sister i wud say cz they're stil soo young..no kid even..helped them out in preparing the food for tomorrow's open house..then on saturday morning,we went to noel street leisure centre..there ws a get together with all d postgrad..so nice to see evrybody in their kurung with huge smiles put on their face..kids soo xcited playing around the hall..im soo touched actually..:)
then we proceed to a few postgrad's open house..during the day, i went to about 5 houses..n in the evening i (together with abg li n k.ija) went to a few other houses til 1am!!never been this worked up during hari raya!haha..
n on sunday i jst went to 3 seniors' open house in dunkirk i.e atiq's,cha's n k.fisya's..overall i wud say my first raya celebration was fab!!even though the first raya seemed a bit lonelier..hee
lecture n class now r going jst fine..of cz they r cz the prob is jst me self..gotta work harder..n smarter..lotsa things to revise already..chaiyok!!~
well,diz is my first time celebrating raya thousands miles away frm family..hurm..all of us here were wuite surprised when they announced dat raya falls on friday (12/10)..cz we xpected it to be on d next day..i was sooo not mentally n emotionally ready!! n worse, i got 1 hr basic emergency care practical class on that day..poor me..wtv..n i missed the sembahyang raya cz cha told me it wud be at 820am..n my clas ws at 9 so i thought i cudnt make it..but actually it started at 8!!arghh!frust!but it's ok..sabar..huhu
that night i went to my foster parent's house..not really a parent..brother n sister i wud say cz they're stil soo young..no kid even..helped them out in preparing the food for tomorrow's open house..then on saturday morning,we went to noel street leisure centre..there ws a get together with all d postgrad..so nice to see evrybody in their kurung with huge smiles put on their face..kids soo xcited playing around the hall..im soo touched actually..:)
then we proceed to a few postgrad's open house..during the day, i went to about 5 houses..n in the evening i (together with abg li n k.ija) went to a few other houses til 1am!!never been this worked up during hari raya!haha..
n on sunday i jst went to 3 seniors' open house in dunkirk i.e atiq's,cha's n k.fisya's..overall i wud say my first raya celebration was fab!!even though the first raya seemed a bit lonelier..hee
lecture n class now r going jst fine..of cz they r cz the prob is jst me self..gotta work harder..n smarter..lotsa things to revise already..chaiyok!!~
Saturday 29 September 2007
omg!i made it!
don't be hoaxed by the title..but however,today is kinda achievement for me cz i jst cooked my dinner jst now..hehe no need for me to tell wut did i cook cz it's kinda embarassing cz it was jst a real simple dish but i make a big fuss out of it cz it ws my first time cooking all by myself..somehow need LOTSA improvement..:p practice makes perfect isn't it?hehe..
went to city centre earlier on d day..then frm the old market square me n put went to hyson green market asda..bought a lot of things for sure..thank God k.fisya was around n lent me a bag so i can put my overweight plastique bags with oil,whole grain etc inside..so darn heavy man!then to make it worse,the bus '50' dat we're supposed to get in wasn't around...might be bcoz if the heavy traffic..so unfortunately without wanting to put more burden on our foot + shoulder,me n put decided jst to take a cab..guess hw much was the fare????it was 9 pound!!but we got 1pound discount..doesnt make any different,does it?hoh..rugi besaaaar guee!!
orait..sleeping time..gotta wake up early 2morrow cz i plan 2 go to the carboot sale at 9..:)
went to city centre earlier on d day..then frm the old market square me n put went to hyson green market asda..bought a lot of things for sure..thank God k.fisya was around n lent me a bag so i can put my overweight plastique bags with oil,whole grain etc inside..so darn heavy man!then to make it worse,the bus '50' dat we're supposed to get in wasn't around...might be bcoz if the heavy traffic..so unfortunately without wanting to put more burden on our foot + shoulder,me n put decided jst to take a cab..guess hw much was the fare????it was 9 pound!!but we got 1pound discount..doesnt make any different,does it?hoh..rugi besaaaar guee!!
orait..sleeping time..gotta wake up early 2morrow cz i plan 2 go to the carboot sale at 9..:)
Friday 28 September 2007
alot more 2 xpect...
nothing much we had in lectures today..just an introduction about the early clinical development programme..surealot to expect frm me in d future..gambare!!i'l do my best!!
my GP tutor is Dr H Patel..sounds like a pakistani..im not sure when will i hav my first GP attachment but sure it'l be so much fun..ive been luking forward for this kind of thing since ages!
well im not fasting today.but stil i'l join anis at her place during break-fast hour today..she's lucky living with a bunch of medics senior..alot can she learn frm them..hurm nvm..i'l survive on my own..my way..insyaAllah..
my GP tutor is Dr H Patel..sounds like a pakistani..im not sure when will i hav my first GP attachment but sure it'l be so much fun..ive been luking forward for this kind of thing since ages!
well im not fasting today.but stil i'l join anis at her place during break-fast hour today..she's lucky living with a bunch of medics senior..alot can she learn frm them..hurm nvm..i'l survive on my own..my way..insyaAllah..
Thursday 27 September 2007
strucked by loneliness...erkk
in the spur of the night...i was all of a sudden strucked by the loneliness..nothing wrong with the day..the sky's perfect..full of gleaming stars..the wheather's perfect..offering a refreshing breeze..but something's wrong with me..is it the mood swing from pms?hahhh..
the class started off today with just a simple revision lecture "concept of the cell"..while waiting for the lecture to begin,someting about this lonelier thing came to my thought..ahh..homesick i guess..i hate this lonesome!frens r there..but true frens?bf perhaps?hoh..i think i just think tooo much that makes all those weird stuff popped into my mind..n strucked me like it's all crucial..but somehow it does make a significant impact on ones life right?companion,company,frens,partner n all...:(
the class started off today with just a simple revision lecture "concept of the cell"..while waiting for the lecture to begin,someting about this lonelier thing came to my thought..ahh..homesick i guess..i hate this lonesome!frens r there..but true frens?bf perhaps?hoh..i think i just think tooo much that makes all those weird stuff popped into my mind..n strucked me like it's all crucial..but somehow it does make a significant impact on ones life right?companion,company,frens,partner n all...:(
Wednesday 26 September 2007
heRe i aM..tHe englisH land..:)
wow it feels so good to be here!!but one nasty thing i hav to bear is jst the unbelievably dry cold weather with strong wind..but i'l get used to it..nvm actually it has been a week since i arrived..but just got the chance to start writing sumthing in here..
the univ is great..it has kinda huge compound but everybody here just luv to walk down..hah, im so letih walking everyday..thank God there's this punctual hopper bus..but at times it's not so punctual though..
well,i've went to the city centre..quite far frm my place in beeston actually but there's always a bus..so no prob at all!i got so tempted to shop!!in PRIMARK..omg the things r cheap man! then this SPORTS WORLD selling all those branded sports attire like nike adidas n all..n the price r all affordable!!well at least i need not to convert the GBP to RM or else..i wont get a thing!it's times 7!wut do u expect!and another one that i luv soo damn much is the carboot sale!!omg..i bought tones of stuff!!2 cute teddies r only 50p..this one pink jacket is only for 80p..owh cant wait to go there again..hehe
my flatmates r all from england..4 of them..megan,jess,jenn,n sarah..they've invited me to go to pub for 3 times!haha..dunno how to xplain so i jst sort of make few excuses n said dat i hav sumthing else..haha funny though..but they're nice..friendly..chic!n it's fun to hav a chat with em..it's a remarkable xperience for me 4 sure to be able to mix up with them n share a flat 2gether this year..
met my tutor yesterday..he's a pediatrician..a great man..n the other person under him 2gether with me is Daniel or i call him Dan..a gud-luking english guy..hehe he's nice n im so pleased to meet n get 2 knw him...:)
Monday 17 September 2007
23 kg!~
i LOVE my purpink(purple+pink) luggage!...hehe the current weight of my luggage is 23 kg!
hopefully they can tolerate n permit the 23 kgs..
i tink i've placed inside everything urgent..hopefully nothing's missing..
from apparels..to toiletries..to stationaries..to rempah ratus even!
so i'l be at klia at about 700..gather at C17 after break-fast..check-in n all then take-off at about 1140pm..then after 13 hrs flight,reaches heathrow london..safe journey insyaAllah..amin:)
Sunday 16 September 2007
the leaving speech...:(
honestly speaking..i dont really quite understand my own current feeling..im supposed to be so hepi n xcited but yet im sad..n kind of reluctant to leave..but mayb this is just for now(hopefully..)
when im gone..
i wont be able to tease momooks..'gomol' him,hug him,kiss his belly n bumpy even..
i wont be able to tease dodo..
i wont be able to holler out abang..
i wont be able to be kissed by ayah..
i wont be able to cat fight with ibu..
when im gone..
who's gonna help ibu with making kuih raya..
who's gonna company her shopping til drop..
who's gonna make fuss to ibu..
when im gone..
momooks can always get into my room without being chew out..
ibu wont have to always ask me to tidy up my room..
ayah wont have to flatten his pocket..
abg wont have to relinquish..
i thought im strong..but im im no toughie!!
friends..
how can they be replaced!
how can i be sure that i'l be as happy!
im going with a big heart..huge hopes..mounted dreams..
with love in my heart..hello uk,gubye msia!!
when im gone..
i wont be able to tease momooks..'gomol' him,hug him,kiss his belly n bumpy even..
i wont be able to tease dodo..
i wont be able to holler out abang..
i wont be able to be kissed by ayah..
i wont be able to cat fight with ibu..
when im gone..
who's gonna help ibu with making kuih raya..
who's gonna company her shopping til drop..
who's gonna make fuss to ibu..
when im gone..
momooks can always get into my room without being chew out..
ibu wont have to always ask me to tidy up my room..
ayah wont have to flatten his pocket..
abg wont have to relinquish..
i thought im strong..but im im no toughie!!
friends..
how can they be replaced!
how can i be sure that i'l be as happy!
im going with a big heart..huge hopes..mounted dreams..
with love in my heart..hello uk,gubye msia!!
Thursday 13 September 2007
L.O.V.E
suddenly i feel like writing bout l.o.ve...the conotation of LOVE lies thousands of meanings and related adjectives ..sayang,cinta,suka sangat..those r malay words that describe love...scandal, hook up, fling, fonds, lust, admire, like..those r the things that people always get confused with and r often being associated with love..
i do believe in true love..yes true love does exist..and am still waiting for my turn..coz i believe everybody wil find one..ok,i'll tell bout my xperience with this kind of 'love' related problems..*sounds funny* i dunno wut does it mean by puppy love but i sure did xperience it without even noticing it..several times infact!ok,i knew nothing bout this whole coupling thingy when i was in elemantary...during form 1,i liked this one good-japanese-looking boy..funny,kind,clever,tall..gud in martial art even!he was my class teacher's son..haha he treated me so nicely so i guess he felt the same way as i did..(prasan!!!huahaha) this was one of my remarkable unforgetable memories..:) i think i will still fond of him if we meet again now or in the future..hehehe then i moved to a boarding skul..suprisingly there was no one i admired or like more than jst frens..immature?dunno lah..i jst love the frenship in this skul, so relationship was way the least of my list..huhu but there was a few la yg kind of try me u know..he stood up for me for 5 yrs..(since form 1!!)..i felt sorry but well, wut can i do..i jst saw him as a mere fren..i hav this trouble of switching frm a fren to a lover actually..my bad mayb..but he found himself a gul now aready..gud 4 him..but we kind of not-so keeping in touch lately..kinda sad on that part actually..:p and there was one whom i told him not to call me anymore when he called my home numba 4 the first time..i knw i was acting so bitchy..but jst cudn't help it u c..it was so sudden n impulsive!eloborate so much on that mayb..k move on to d next one..hohoho
then i met this one kinda-handsome guy during ns..he really caught my attention! yeps i dated him but it only last for a year..it was complicated with him towards the end of our relationship..he's sweet yes..no doubt on that..but i kind of found out that he's kinda jerk! i tink it's better 4 me not to talk more bout this,cz it really burns me out..as the matter of fact,im quite upset with my first true relationship..then 2 yrs in kmb..i found myself nobody..for 2 yrs FGS!but i did admire this one guy,not so good looking..most people in his class didnt like him much becz of his "mulut lepas"..but i stil liked him!i saw sumthing pure in him...but unfortunately,he liked someone else who is his gf now..but im comfortable n satisfied 2 befren with him...
so in these 2 yrs..i tink ive made lotsa thinking bout l.o.v.e..kinda more mature now..it just made me keener of finding true love..i hav this perceptual thinking of people being a denial..acting like they dont wnt to couple now(at the age of 20) yet so flirtatious inside!
hurm..long entry this time..nvm,njoy writing it tho(",)
i do believe in true love..yes true love does exist..and am still waiting for my turn..coz i believe everybody wil find one..ok,i'll tell bout my xperience with this kind of 'love' related problems..*sounds funny* i dunno wut does it mean by puppy love but i sure did xperience it without even noticing it..several times infact!ok,i knew nothing bout this whole coupling thingy when i was in elemantary...during form 1,i liked this one good-japanese-looking boy..funny,kind,clever,tall..gud in martial art even!he was my class teacher's son..haha he treated me so nicely so i guess he felt the same way as i did..(prasan!!!huahaha) this was one of my remarkable unforgetable memories..:) i think i will still fond of him if we meet again now or in the future..hehehe then i moved to a boarding skul..suprisingly there was no one i admired or like more than jst frens..immature?dunno lah..i jst love the frenship in this skul, so relationship was way the least of my list..huhu but there was a few la yg kind of try me u know..he stood up for me for 5 yrs..(since form 1!!)..i felt sorry but well, wut can i do..i jst saw him as a mere fren..i hav this trouble of switching frm a fren to a lover actually..my bad mayb..but he found himself a gul now aready..gud 4 him..but we kind of not-so keeping in touch lately..kinda sad on that part actually..:p and there was one whom i told him not to call me anymore when he called my home numba 4 the first time..i knw i was acting so bitchy..but jst cudn't help it u c..it was so sudden n impulsive!eloborate so much on that mayb..k move on to d next one..hohoho
then i met this one kinda-handsome guy during ns..he really caught my attention! yeps i dated him but it only last for a year..it was complicated with him towards the end of our relationship..he's sweet yes..no doubt on that..but i kind of found out that he's kinda jerk! i tink it's better 4 me not to talk more bout this,cz it really burns me out..as the matter of fact,im quite upset with my first true relationship..then 2 yrs in kmb..i found myself nobody..for 2 yrs FGS!but i did admire this one guy,not so good looking..most people in his class didnt like him much becz of his "mulut lepas"..but i stil liked him!i saw sumthing pure in him...but unfortunately,he liked someone else who is his gf now..but im comfortable n satisfied 2 befren with him...
so in these 2 yrs..i tink ive made lotsa thinking bout l.o.v.e..kinda more mature now..it just made me keener of finding true love..i hav this perceptual thinking of people being a denial..acting like they dont wnt to couple now(at the age of 20) yet so flirtatious inside!
hurm..long entry this time..nvm,njoy writing it tho(",)
i actually planned ti upload a song entitles "the rose" by bettle midler..it's a very nice song for this theme..im so touched by the lyrics..not jiwang eheh!:)jsta bit sentimental..hahaha! but unfortunately,some probs occured..too bad
Wednesday 12 September 2007
blogging..
u know why i write a blog??i hav always wanted to keep a diary..when i was 13/14 yrs old (tink so:P)..i kept this one lovely diary..coz i tink it's sweet to hav every single things jotted down so that when we're older (older..how old???)..we can simply flip through the so called diary to recall all the ups n downs we've been through..but the bad habit bout me is that..im QUITE lazy..in keeping n writing one..n im rather a secretive person u c..so kinda freak out if somebody finds out bout the diary...(never happened though)..so the diary lasted only for half a year..eyh i tink less than half a year!:(
so that's y i blog..but up to now,i just keep writing anonymously..told ya im secretive..so that i won't feel restricted to pour out anything "nasty"...(??)hehehe..n so nobody'll feel offended after reading my blog..coz i really treat this as my own personal diary...
so that's y i blog..but up to now,i just keep writing anonymously..told ya im secretive..so that i won't feel restricted to pour out anything "nasty"...(??)hehehe..n so nobody'll feel offended after reading my blog..coz i really treat this as my own personal diary...
huagrhh!!
arghh!!i just went back from kedah..my mom's paksu passed away yesterday..imagine we travelled about 4-5 hours to kulim..n overnite there for just 1 nite..pity u my father..:p well, speaking of my realtives in kedah, that's from my mom's side..my big family tree is quite complicated and so i dont knw much bout it..i only know n recognise the close one..3 of my aunts are in uk,so i guess i'l hav no prob of finding free open house during diz coming raya...(is there such paid open house btw??)..2 in kent, n 1 in london..hopefully they'l accept me as their guest of "honour"!hehe..
intan n mun r leaving today..hurm..nervous counting down til my turn!huhu..still lotsa things to settle beforehand..gotta be quick just in case anyhting unexpected appears on last minute preapration..
hurm..ok,i'l update on later..jaaa~
intan n mun r leaving today..hurm..nervous counting down til my turn!huhu..still lotsa things to settle beforehand..gotta be quick just in case anyhting unexpected appears on last minute preapration..
hurm..ok,i'l update on later..jaaa~
Monday 10 September 2007
nothing much
well,as the title implies..nothing much happened today..just another normal day..n again, i live today normally..:) went to klcc to return nadz's dvds..n together with her was her "gay" fren..haha kinda funny, n nice xperience as well u knoe to hav such a fren..:p
umm,im not in a writing mood today coz nothing really came to my mind..i jst hav this joy feeling of the excitement of starting a new chapter of life in a week time u know..but i guess this excitement has jst drifted mt mind frm thinking bout ramadhan..which is the bad part coz as a muslim im supposed to be soo joy n soo xcited to welcoming ramadhan..although i knw im not dat so gud of a worshipper..but stil u knw..well,ok i'l try to be better this ramadhan ok..with all my heart n soul!!!
umm,im not in a writing mood today coz nothing really came to my mind..i jst hav this joy feeling of the excitement of starting a new chapter of life in a week time u know..but i guess this excitement has jst drifted mt mind frm thinking bout ramadhan..which is the bad part coz as a muslim im supposed to be soo joy n soo xcited to welcoming ramadhan..although i knw im not dat so gud of a worshipper..but stil u knw..well,ok i'l try to be better this ramadhan ok..with all my heart n soul!!!
Sunday 9 September 2007
new laptop!!hoyeea~
hah im sooo in a gud mood today!course i am!got new laptop maa!hehe..
well it's not my dreamed laptop though..but nvm,the specs r great!so of course im satisfied!
it has everything i need!except 4 the design i guess..hehe
hurm..there's one thing bothering me since yesterday..i haven't been able to hang out with mi nas..so sad,haven't met her for so long ok!dunno wut she's thinking,well people change don't they?perhaps i can no longer assume that things now r still the same as before.well, too bad then!
well it's not my dreamed laptop though..but nvm,the specs r great!so of course im satisfied!
it has everything i need!except 4 the design i guess..hehe
hurm..there's one thing bothering me since yesterday..i haven't been able to hang out with mi nas..so sad,haven't met her for so long ok!dunno wut she's thinking,well people change don't they?perhaps i can no longer assume that things now r still the same as before.well, too bad then!
Sunday 12 August 2007
wut title??
hurm..y am i too lazy to write my blog these days???i quit the job at hoca alredi..so the wages adela about rm382..dat one is frm 2-26 aug..minus 9 days off!hahaha..so next month i hav to come again to receive the other half of my wages..around 100 more..again!im lazy!:p
can't wait to go shopping with that so tiny among of money!wuteva!i can still njoy for sure! but i tink i need to go shopping on my own la diz time..no one's around..everybody's back to college..wani is off to indon alredi..who'd wanna go out with me during weekdays??ahh..it's time like diz where i really feel the urge of need to hav a boyfren..ahakz!~ is dat the only use of boyfren??urm..i don't mean that way..but u knw..argh,so difficult to put it in words though..nvm,i just keep it to myself la for the time being..hehe
wut else do i wanna talk about??haa!i bought a few of my stuff alredi...like my luggage..(it's a vivid pink n purple!!!sgt capap~)..my undies(borong!!)..my jumper..my sweater..wut else ek..hurm..yea long john..n 2morrow im gonna shop some more!hehe..i soo love shopping!
oklah..i'll try to be strict to myself diz time to write in here everyday!!
daa~
can't wait to go shopping with that so tiny among of money!wuteva!i can still njoy for sure! but i tink i need to go shopping on my own la diz time..no one's around..everybody's back to college..wani is off to indon alredi..who'd wanna go out with me during weekdays??ahh..it's time like diz where i really feel the urge of need to hav a boyfren..ahakz!~ is dat the only use of boyfren??urm..i don't mean that way..but u knw..argh,so difficult to put it in words though..nvm,i just keep it to myself la for the time being..hehe
wut else do i wanna talk about??haa!i bought a few of my stuff alredi...like my luggage..(it's a vivid pink n purple!!!sgt capap~)..my undies(borong!!)..my jumper..my sweater..wut else ek..hurm..yea long john..n 2morrow im gonna shop some more!hehe..i soo love shopping!
oklah..i'll try to be strict to myself diz time to write in here everyday!!
daa~
Tuesday 17 July 2007
adoii!
hah!my btn is tommorow...and i caught a cold today!!arghh!!very uncomfortable laa with this selsema...wuaaa!!hurm...hopefully i'get well soon :(
Sunday 15 July 2007
shud i quit or shud i stay??
you know what,working is really tiring!expecially at a cafe or restaurant where u have to serve, clear the tables up, greet and so on. well, im not that desperate to work right now so mayb that's why i have a room to feel this way. and that's why i think it's really2 important for us to find a job in a field that we like most..if working is all about money,then the working hours will be seen as just as a burden in exchange to get the pay. im so glad i chose medicine line, hopefully i'll be into my work in the future and enjoy it as part of my life.
following that, im thinking of quitting the job as a barista end of this month. well, my very first point of working is killing time, then comes money and experience. i guess now i've realized how valuable my free time now before the departure so staying home, enjoying the free time with no study on my top priority list is the best thing i think i shud do now. then for money, one month salary is enough i think for me to enjoy shopping. becuz later i'll get the reimburse money for ukcat and ucas application from mara together with the pocket money for departure. well, that's uncertain i know but never mind..i just assumed i'll get it somewhere in august. then for experience, i think i already know how to serve, how to prepare certain breakfast meal, and to make some ice blended..haha that's not enough fo sure but it's OKay la as for the time being. meeting new people everyday from different country speaking of various different languages connected by coffee,tea, latte, mocha and broken english is also very invaluable experience i seek working in klcc. i was once happy working, tired all the time, and feel irritated sometimes..so wut im trying to convey here is, my mission accomplished!it's about time to quit..wish me luck in telling k.yati bout my intentio to quit okay!
well then,jaa~
following that, im thinking of quitting the job as a barista end of this month. well, my very first point of working is killing time, then comes money and experience. i guess now i've realized how valuable my free time now before the departure so staying home, enjoying the free time with no study on my top priority list is the best thing i think i shud do now. then for money, one month salary is enough i think for me to enjoy shopping. becuz later i'll get the reimburse money for ukcat and ucas application from mara together with the pocket money for departure. well, that's uncertain i know but never mind..i just assumed i'll get it somewhere in august. then for experience, i think i already know how to serve, how to prepare certain breakfast meal, and to make some ice blended..haha that's not enough fo sure but it's OKay la as for the time being. meeting new people everyday from different country speaking of various different languages connected by coffee,tea, latte, mocha and broken english is also very invaluable experience i seek working in klcc. i was once happy working, tired all the time, and feel irritated sometimes..so wut im trying to convey here is, my mission accomplished!it's about time to quit..wish me luck in telling k.yati bout my intentio to quit okay!
well then,jaa~
Friday 6 July 2007
alhamdulillah....
whoaaaa!!!alhamdulillah...i didn't expect my result to be 43..7 for all subjects except math n bisnes..n full mark 3 for tok n ee!!!that is sooo great!omigod...im so relieved..thankful..n grateful...so here i come nottingham!!!can't wait to fly off to uk!im so excited...hurm..entering medical school is tough n im so very aware that surviving in medical school is a lot more tougher...gotta really preapre myself..whuteva it is, i know when God has brought me to it, He will surely guide me through it..insyaAllah...ameen
Thursday 5 July 2007
the sore of waiting..
arghh...the time will definitely come..so why im so nervous n anxious???owh this is almost killing my sweet time!fine..im not usually feel agitated when waiting for my exam result to come out but this time around,it's different!!way different!this is for my dear damn future!!well, all the previous exams were determining my future but....hoh,still a 'but' there!!i just can't xplain!!so...4get it..:(
hah,im so tired tht i think i can't even stand properly now..always wanna slouch coz just imagine, i hav to stand for about 6-7 hrs..heh,congrats to my sylphlike leg..huhu nothing weird nor wicked things happened 2day in the workplace..just bumped into mubin who's also working there but in petrosains..suhana in chilli's,n pia in parkson..well,i guess we used to do cas during holidays so now when there's no more cas, everybody is like hey,i need to at least do sumthing!!can't stand goyang kaki only..hahaha
erghh...so sleepy already, got stomach upset i think..my meal time has gone haywire lately..wut a dedicated barista i am!haha..
hah,im so tired tht i think i can't even stand properly now..always wanna slouch coz just imagine, i hav to stand for about 6-7 hrs..heh,congrats to my sylphlike leg..huhu nothing weird nor wicked things happened 2day in the workplace..just bumped into mubin who's also working there but in petrosains..suhana in chilli's,n pia in parkson..well,i guess we used to do cas during holidays so now when there's no more cas, everybody is like hey,i need to at least do sumthing!!can't stand goyang kaki only..hahaha
erghh...so sleepy already, got stomach upset i think..my meal time has gone haywire lately..wut a dedicated barista i am!haha..
Wednesday 4 July 2007
momentum from working as a barista
wah,it's been a really long time since my last entry...i was too lazy too write yet got so many things around that i wanted to at least 'save' the moment by writing sumthing in here..well, yeah i went to bandung..n it was such a wondrous experience..n im thinking of travelling as my new hobby as well..like i hav sooo much money n could travel to anywhere i want!!! hurm..i guess i hav to put it on hold for a while, years probably..hurm..
i just started working as a barista in a coffee shop in klcc..the pay is rm4 per hour..is it gud or is it not worth it?i clean, i wash dishes, i serve, and i greet and above all...i hav to always standing..hurm..it's pretty normal that way..but for me,i want money n the experience..working in a coffee shop right, i can learn quite a lot about how coffee is served..how to prepare mocha,copuccino n all..so it's pretty gud what..hah!thanx to ib,im so rational n reflective now..hahaha
i still can't get over japanese n korean dramas..crazee as ever!!god,wut has happened 2 me??
hahaha!takuya kimura especially,hurm...where on earth can i find a guy like him??i mean, not just the gud look..but also the charismatic personality he got in almost all of his muvies..well, patience is a virtue right???maybe...must be!:) but the thing is, im just the normal ordinary commoner girls who has the stupid cinderella dream kind of thingy..so how can i be 'different', 'unique' and 'special' to at least one guy in this universe??..like the heroines staring in kimura's muvie???haisyh..this is so ridiculous! but still, i want to at least be the heroine in my own life story!!hurm...so daiyo ne...ok,enough with that silly and absurd thoughts..:p
well,currently watching hero n long vacation by takuya kimura..hehe!told u im crazy over him now~
jaa!
i just started working as a barista in a coffee shop in klcc..the pay is rm4 per hour..is it gud or is it not worth it?i clean, i wash dishes, i serve, and i greet and above all...i hav to always standing..hurm..it's pretty normal that way..but for me,i want money n the experience..working in a coffee shop right, i can learn quite a lot about how coffee is served..how to prepare mocha,copuccino n all..so it's pretty gud what..hah!thanx to ib,im so rational n reflective now..hahaha
i still can't get over japanese n korean dramas..crazee as ever!!god,wut has happened 2 me??
hahaha!takuya kimura especially,hurm...where on earth can i find a guy like him??i mean, not just the gud look..but also the charismatic personality he got in almost all of his muvies..well, patience is a virtue right???maybe...must be!:) but the thing is, im just the normal ordinary commoner girls who has the stupid cinderella dream kind of thingy..so how can i be 'different', 'unique' and 'special' to at least one guy in this universe??..like the heroines staring in kimura's muvie???haisyh..this is so ridiculous! but still, i want to at least be the heroine in my own life story!!hurm...so daiyo ne...ok,enough with that silly and absurd thoughts..:p
well,currently watching hero n long vacation by takuya kimura..hehe!told u im crazy over him now~
jaa!
Monday 30 April 2007
so lazee bumpee
i planned to go back to college yesterday actually, but too lazy to get outta my room..hav to be really strict to my self though at home or otherwise, i won't be touching books at all..thinking of going back tonite, but not sure yet..making decision frm a number of choices is really TOUGH for me..wut's more if i hav a better choice in mind..like stays home for another day or going back to college..arghh!it's just 2 weeks more before i can stay home as much as i want but still...erghh..
of course i prefer to be home coz it makes me feel free to study without any guilt of not studying for a minute and without feeling disturbed (although there's quite some distractions at home)..if i were to be in college at this time, surely i 'bengang' with my rummie who almost every second on the phone talking to her bf!!!annoying and irritating!not becoz im jelous or wut, it's disturbing especially when she's talking bout PERSONAL INTIMATE matter..huh! i don't wanna hurt anybody,dat's y i don't directly say that to her but indrectly i did do something that shows my uneasiness..she's just too ignorance to understand i guess..hurm..people..people..
of course i prefer to be home coz it makes me feel free to study without any guilt of not studying for a minute and without feeling disturbed (although there's quite some distractions at home)..if i were to be in college at this time, surely i 'bengang' with my rummie who almost every second on the phone talking to her bf!!!annoying and irritating!not becoz im jelous or wut, it's disturbing especially when she's talking bout PERSONAL INTIMATE matter..huh! i don't wanna hurt anybody,dat's y i don't directly say that to her but indrectly i did do something that shows my uneasiness..she's just too ignorance to understand i guess..hurm..people..people..
Friday 27 April 2007
Saturday 14 April 2007
so dull..so monotonous
hurm..i dont know why,i just feel my life now is rather dull n so monotonous..heh,im not supposed to think that way i know..becoz it can somehow shows that im not thankful which is totally wrong...im so grateful in fact..just a bit empty maybe..but on top of that,i know im lucky enough to be surrounded by extraordinary people in college though..it's just that...naahhh,this is crap.
Friday 13 April 2007
fly
im home!!hehe...actually i planned not to go back this weekend,but then we'll be having a brifing next saturday..so for sure i can't go back next weekend right..so balik je la sekarang..n i fly!meaning not going back through the right channel la..thank God x kantoi dgn mak guard..haha!
okay i just done with our post-irp mock test..kinda relieved a bit!so need to unwind a lil bit..there's always a reason to unwind heh!talking bout the test..hurm..i think i did quite well la...QUITE there..hehe need to strive harder surely..till then,daa~
okay i just done with our post-irp mock test..kinda relieved a bit!so need to unwind a lil bit..there's always a reason to unwind heh!talking bout the test..hurm..i think i did quite well la...QUITE there..hehe need to strive harder surely..till then,daa~
Sunday 8 April 2007
sunday blues
have to go back to college diz evening...kinda lasy but..no i have to!
my final is just around the corner man!2morrow we'll start off with our step 2 irp session..well, it's some kind of post-irp exam actually..am i ready???huh...on my way actually..ok,be happy!!
my final is just around the corner man!2morrow we'll start off with our step 2 irp session..well, it's some kind of post-irp exam actually..am i ready???huh...on my way actually..ok,be happy!!
Friday 6 April 2007
vigorous days..
it'd been 2 weeks since i last wrote in here..kinda busy actually coz my final ib exam is just 3 weeks from now..hopefully i can make it through with flying colours!!insyaAllah..
now is the irp weeks..n i really hav to overpush my self! no more comfort..no more relaxing or wutsoever!
just study!!
but on th eother hand...i think im gonna giving up on sumthing...dont know how to put it in words but yea!im giving him up...yea now it's partially revealed..hahaha
i dont think it's worth hoping and chasing after someone who's never has an eye for us...rite?
ok,enough in that i guess..actually i hope nothing frm him..just frens..but..hurm,dunno la the jelousy is till there..no idea why..
now is the irp weeks..n i really hav to overpush my self! no more comfort..no more relaxing or wutsoever!
just study!!
but on th eother hand...i think im gonna giving up on sumthing...dont know how to put it in words but yea!im giving him up...yea now it's partially revealed..hahaha
i dont think it's worth hoping and chasing after someone who's never has an eye for us...rite?
ok,enough in that i guess..actually i hope nothing frm him..just frens..but..hurm,dunno la the jelousy is till there..no idea why..
Saturday 24 March 2007
tHanks Allah!
alhamdulillah...
people say waiting is painful..and i definitely agree witht that..
i just knew that i got a conditional offer to do medicine in the university of nottingham..
alhamdulillah..:)
the requirement to get into nottss is quite high, but again, of coz it's achievable..
i'll try my best in the final ib exam..
God, give me ur continous guidance...
people say waiting is painful..and i definitely agree witht that..
i just knew that i got a conditional offer to do medicine in the university of nottingham..
alhamdulillah..:)
the requirement to get into nottss is quite high, but again, of coz it's achievable..
i'll try my best in the final ib exam..
God, give me ur continous guidance...
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